The first Friday Poem for 2021 is by Wellington poet Rebecca Hawkes.
While you were partying I studied the blade
I your ever-loving edgelord God-emperor
of the bot army & bitcoin mine subsisting
on an IV drip of gamer girl bathwater
finally my loneliness
is your responsibility……….
I need a girlfriend
assigned to me by the state
real socialists
redistribute………… pussy
……….I see no rational problem with this
I have performed significant research
through free to view explicit streaming services
so I am confident
that everyone is always coming simultaneously
………………..except for me
it’s like the world is one big wheelbarrow race
& I’m the only one who couldn’t find a buddy
so while you walked around on your hands and knees panting
I have amassed a fine array of collectable weaponry
live by the sword die by the crushing solitude……….
while you downloaded & deleted dating apps
I educated myself via gentleman vloggers
analysing the acceptable minimum
age at which to ask a girl for feet pics
the good sirs of swordplay & semiautomatics
we are fully loaded martyrs to love……… benevolently
contemptuous………. we’re the last true romantics
& our bookshelves are stacked with expensive mecha busts
& tasteful ornamental skulls……………
while you’re all “well actually
the theory of hegemonic masculinity
specifically says that most men never wholly access the promises
of male privilege under patriarchy” what I hear is
you admit there’s a human pyramid
& if I play the game right I can climb
over the heaving crush of bodies to the very tip of it
I the whole world’s unsung hero
adrift in a musky nimbus of antiperspirant &
reconstituted corn snack seasoning
my bloodshot overstimulated isolation
endless as the feed that leaves me empty………..
because despite all my logic & reason
my need to get truly loved is in everything
like the real conspiracy of 5G
contaminating my cells
a permeating frequency
in desperate vibration
to be the little spoon
to wake up wrapped in you
to find the tender grass on our
oddly monocultural lawn
sopping with real mountain dew………..
lurid syrup so hi-fructose our arteries explode together
yes…….. once you are mine I will be so sweet to you
I have perfected every detail of the fantasy
I have modelled it in unreal engine
& acted it out with my Sims family
so while you took our potential coupledom for granted
I burned for this love
like a telecommunications tower……………
look upon me as I demonstrate
I am climbing the e-sports studio of the SkyTower right now
with terrible purpose
to set myself on fire
screaming ALL WOMEN DID THIS TO ME
like King Kong the world’s most legendary incel
sacrificing himself for a spoilt bitch he’ll never get with
I am so noble
I am sacrificing myself for all women
the big gorilla got his name in global lights
a sympathetic screenplay for the pathetic simp
so the least you could do is promise me
the convenience of your body
you are a special prize for nice guys
O moist femoid your hot
wet heart merely another
collection of holes I hope to fill……..
but once you swallow
my redpill if u can prove
that you are within 5 points of my IQ
I’ll let you see my Rick & Morty tattoo…………………..
oho……. well actually
while you blocked me on all your social media
I have discovered true community & we
have developed a solution for all men
the men are going our own way………….
the men are going to get what we deserve……..
the men will not say where we are going
just that you are not invited…………………
the men are going
we are going for real this time…………….
but we will keep turning around
to check that you’re still watching
The Friday Poem is edited by Chris Tse. Submissions are currently closed and will open again in March 2021.