Two new spoons poems by Dunedin writer Liz Breslin.

 

when life gives you spoons

 

when life gives you spoons, measure sugar, stir the juice

when life gives you spoons, fix tyres

when life gives you spoons, play Kadabra, stare them down

when life gives you spoons, grab them off a plane

 

when life gives you spoons, test gravy, guard your onion eyes

when life gives you spoons, play a jig

when life gives you spoons, do the nose balance trick

 

when life gives you spoons, call them ladles

when life gives you spoons, precision-flick croutons across the room

when life gives you spoons, check their finial domes

when life gives you spoons, crack eggs

 

when life gives you spoons, demand a refund, an enquiry

when life gives you spoons, scoop the innards, carve a heart

when life gives you spoons, collect a set

 

 

#stainlesssteelkudos

 

I know an old lady who swallowed a spoon. I know

a younger one who heard the story and went on to swallow

two. I know the guy who thought to film her doings

and put it on YouTube. I know 912,102 people (so far)

watched her and cutleryfreakatcollege said #stainlesssteelkudos

so I guess that’s cool. I know about copycat action so

I’m just saying don’t try this at home. Even if it’s for your art.

 

I know that mass stupidity dictates that there will be

a viral spoon swallowing challenge coming

our way soon. I know that I will be called stupid and a spoil

sport for citing safety and sanity in declining to do

it. I know there will be well-meaning articles about what

spoon-swallowing well, means, and underneath

the shiny hype will be one old lady, numb, swallowing.

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The two poems about spoons feature in a new collection of verse, Alzheimer’s and a Spoon (Otago University Press, $20) by Liz Breslin, available at Unity Books