Alex Casey crunches the numbers and breaks down some serious, 100% accurate Shortland Street statistics. //
Welcome, you lucky few who exist within the middle of the ‘Statistics fan’ and ‘Shortland Street fan’ venn diagram. I took a look through the Shortland Street census (doesn’t exist), pulled out my abacus (untrue) and scribbled lengthy algorithms on a blackboard (nope) to bring you this: a snapshot of Shortland Street‘s past, present and future told in beautifully vibrant graphs.
Please note, to our illustrious Ferndale Professor readership, while we’ve made every effort to ensure the accuracy of these graphs, due to the volume of material the Street spews out each week, they’re not fact-checked.
Deaths, Births and Marriages From Day Dot
There are a few clear spikes here. 1995 was a great year to die on the Street, but closer inspection reveals that it was mostly due to sporadic patient deaths, the odd fall and the odd drowning. Nothing too dramatic. The real time to cark it was in 2007/2008, which saw the reign of the Ferndale Strangler.
The only time the births spike all the way to a zany three is with the arrival of triplets in both 1993 and 2009. Triplet city. Because I am a strong born-again mathematician, I worked out that – in the real world– triplets have a likelihood of 0.13%. In Ferndale, you are 28.5% likely to have triplets if you get knocked up. Ouch.
Overall, you are at least twice as likely to die as you are to get married or get born on Shortland Street. My advice: don’t bother.
Source: Shortland Street publicists
Amount of Times Married
I was interested to find out who was the Ross of Shortland Street, and who better to top the charts than our very own Ross and Rachel – Chris and Rachel. I counted Rachel’s fake hostage wedding, sue me.
Source: Shortland Street publicists
Leading Cause of Death in Ferndale
So, it’s pretty clear that if you live in Ferndale, you are going to have a bloody intense fall at some point. Or get cancer. My advice would be to wear a tin foil hat to fight the cancers, and a some sort of harness and caribener situation. But you’ll prob have a heart attack anyway. Also keep an eye on candlesticks.
Source: Shortland Street publicists, Wikipedia
Adjectives Used to Describe Harry Warner
Taken from the always entertaining, sort-of-defunct-since-late-2012 Ferndale Talks forum, this provides a snapshot of what the nation thinks of our favourite freckled blighter, Hazza “Toad” Warner.
Source: Ferndale Talks forums
Kylie’s Biggest Talking Points
I’m sure she’s also got a great personality.
Source: Ferndale Talks facebook
Amount of ‘Likes’ Gathered for RIP Post on Facebook
Goodbye my sweet princess.
Source: Ferndale Talks facebook
Buzzword Usage on Shortland Street in 2014
I gathered this data mostly from watching James Mustapic’s excellent Shorty Street Scandal videos. Before she died, I think we can all agree that Sarah was at an all-time high of calling TK “hon.” This just beats “binch”, which was hammered home by Michael Kruse Jr and really scratched at the gates of common parlance for a while there.
Source: Shorty Street Scandal
Highest Voted Predictions for 2014 Season Finale
The people on Facebook made their voices heard, and these were the top picks for last night’s lower-key-than-usual finale. Everyone is dead keen for Chris and Rachel to get back together, followed by those who want Harry dead and zombie Sarah to be resurrected. Will 2015 deliver anything close to what the people want? You’ll have to keep watching to find out.
Source: Shortland Street Unofficial facebook