E3 is the biggest week of gaming news of the year – which means it’s easy to lose track of everything that’s been announced. Sam Brooks rounds up them all up in one convenient place for you.

Not only is E3 the biggest gaming convention in the world, it’s the biggest hype-machine and you can lose the forest for all the trees. So what I’ve done for you, and you can thank me later, is put all the announcements in one easy place so you know what’s coming down your gaming pipeline in the future, and what you should be excited for.

This is what went down this week, with minimal commentary:

Microsoft

• Keanu Reeves is in Cyberpunk 2020, which is all I care about. Also, it’s out April 16, 2020. But I guess you want the rest of the announcements too.
• The new Microsoft console is called Project Scarlett, named after Gone With The Wind heroine and curtain-couture wearing Scarlett O’Hara. It’ll be available for you to dump money on next Christmas.

• A new Halo game!
• Borderlands 3 still exists, is still coming.
• The new Obsidian RPG is out in October!

• Microsoft bought Double Fine! Also Psychonauts 2 is coming.
• Age of Empires II in 4K! Put it in a needle, then into my veins, please.
• Console streaming? Which I don’t understand, and nobody explain it to me.

• A collaboration between Hidetada Miyazaki and George RR Martin, yes, that guy, is coming soon, under the name Elden Ring. No further information is available, but I’m sure it’ll crush people’s will to live.
• Microsoft Flight Simulator is coming back, to keep your uncle occupied on his computer.
• Gears 5, which is absolutely not Gears of War 5, is out September 5. Just in time for my birthday! Hint hint: Buy me anything else.
• A new controller with a 40 hour battery, which you don’t need.
• Phantasy Star Online 2 is coming to the West, finally!
• Ori and the Will of the Wisps looks awesome, and is coming February 11, 2020.

• New games: New Tales, new Battletoads, new Flight Simulator, the new game from the Hellblade developers, something called Microsoft Dungeons, a bloody Blair Witch Project game, something called Spiritfarer, Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga, Dying Light 2, a Funko Pop x Gear of Wars game, Wasteland 3. And just… lots, you guys. Lots.

Bethesda

• Ghostwire: Tokyo is the next game from the creators of The Evil Within. We don’t know much other than it’s an action adventure game, which is barely a genre now.
• The people who brought you Dishonored are bringing you a time-beding game called Deathloop, which I misread as ‘Deathdrop’, and I want that game.
• A new Commander Keen game, in this climate.

• Elder Scrolls: Blades, a game that exists, is coming to Switch. It’ll probably handle better with the Joy-Con Controllers.
• Elder Scrolls Online is getting some DLC called ‘Scalebreaker’.
• A third Elder Scrolls game is getting an expansion called ‘Moons of Elsweyr’.
• Elder Scrolls VI is apparently still in development. Great.

• A new Doom game is out on November 22, if you hate hell-aliens. It will be a Doom game.
• Fallout 76 is a game that exists, and is being updated. This time, with NPCs, which you think is something you would have upon release! Also, a battle royale mode, because trends be trends. The game is free from now ’til June 17 if you want to try out a game everybody shrugged about six months ago.

• Wolfenstein VR, in case Nazis in actual reality wasn’t enough for you.
• New Rage 2 DLC.
• Some new streaming software technology, which is cool if you like streaming.

Ubisoft

• Watch Dogs Legion will be out March 6, 2020. Every NPC is playable, which means that you can playing as a hacking grandma. We stan a Matrix Betty White.
• The new game by the Assassin’s Creed Odyssey dev team, Gods & Monsters will be out February 25, 2020. It is reportedly similar to Breath of the Wild, which is a good comparison as they go.
• Ubisoft is launchig its own game subscription service, UPlay+! $15 a month gets you access to over 100 Ubisoft games (so lots of empty open worlds with lots of stuff to collect), and includes early access to new games. Fun!
• Assassin’s Creed Odyssey is getting a quest-maker called Story Creator, and most excitingly for history/myth buffs, the Discovery Tour will let you walk around Ancient Greece and nitpick about all the things the overworked Ubisoft developers got wrong.

• There’s a new Rainbow Six game coming in early 2020. The Tom Clancy estate continues to flourish.
• A new strategy game for your rotary phones will bring grizzled white dudes from many Clancy properties together. See above re: Clancy estate, flourishes.
• Rainbow Six has a new level or something. So does For Honour. Do you play these games, reader? Get in touch with me at sam@thespinoff.co.nz
• The Division 2, a game which people stopped talking about approximately fifteen minutes after it came out, is free to play from today until June 16. There is DLC coming out next year, if that’s your thing.

https://youtu.be/sQWPLKHv2TU

• The cats from Adventure Time are joining Brawlhalla. I have no idea what Brawlhalla is.
• The Just Dance franchise still exists, and they’re releasing games on Wii still? Christ. Anyway, loo out for the new one next year, you crazy dancing cat.

• Roller Champions, a roller derby game, will be available in the next few days in pre-alpha (what the hell does that mean, have they even started making it yet?). It’s a PVP game, and will hopefully allow me to play as my roller derby counterpart: Lady Big Macbeth.
• In news that genuinely excites me, the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia creators are working on a Silicon Valley-esque comedy about video game development. Put Kaitlin Olson in it, and I’m in!

Square Enix

• The Final Fantasy VII remake FINALLY has a release date: March 3, 2020. The one hiccup, if you want to call it that, and I do, is that it’s the first episode in a series of them. It’s set entirely in Midgar, which was about 5-7 hours of the original game. Apparently it’s going to be the length of a normal Final Fantasy game. I am sceptical!
• Final Fantasy 8 is finally getting remastered, after being missing from the announcement of literally every other Final Fantasy game except it being remastered. It’s out sometime this year.
• Kingdom Hearts 3 is getting DLC, with the very Kingdom Hearts name Re: Mind.

• Crystal Dynamics’ Avengers game is due out May 15, 2020. It has an all-star voice cast (Troy Baker, Nolan North, Laura Bailey) and will let you play as any of the main five Avengers (sorry, Hawkeye!).
• Two SaGa games are finally being localised. You don’t care about this.

• Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Remastered will be out this summer for PS4, Switch and your cellular telephone. The original was on the GameCube.
• The follow-up to the mobile game that Ariana Grande was in, I think, Final Fantasy Brave Exvius, is in development. Good for them!
• The Last Remnant Remastered, originally an experimental-ish tactical RPG on 360, is available now on Switch! It came out on the PS4 last year.
• Some racing game is coming out next year.

• Outriders, a new co-op shooter from the makers of that Gears of War spinoff, comes out Winter 2020. According to Square Enix, it will be ‘a journey across dark and desperate sci-fi world in search of the source of a mysterious signal’. That gives me no information! Comes to all consoles.
• The new RPG from the makers of I Am Setsuna and Lost Sphear [sigh, sic] comes out August 22, 2019. It will look like a painting.

Nintendo

• The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild 2 is getting a sequel! No release date announced, but clear at least one hundred and fifty consecutive hours to play it sometime in the future.
• If you’re an odd human who owns the PokeBall Plus controller, you will be able to use it with Pokemon Shield and Sword, which comes out November 15.

• Animal Crossing: New Horizon has been delayed to March 20, 2020! So you’ll have to wait to escape into a town less hellish than your reality.
• A whole bunch of ports are coming to the Nintendo Switch: Dragon Quest XI, The Witcher 3, Resident Evil 5, Resident Evil 6, the remade Spyro the Dragon triology, Ni no Kuni, Minecraft Dungeons, The Sinking City, Alien: Isolation, New Super Lucky’s Tale. Woof!
• Banjo Kazooie and Dragon Quest’s Hero are the next playable characters coming to Super Smash Bros. Ultimate! Rejoice, finally you’ll be able to get to play as interchangeable JRPG protagonists and a dorky bear.

• A Switch remake of Link’s Awakening, complete with a create-a-dungeon mode, comes out September 20.
• Cadence of Hyrule, a crossover between Crypt of the Necrodancer (think Rock Band) and Legend of Zelda comes out today on Nintendo Switch, if that’s your fancy.

• Incel simulator No More Heroes is getting a third entry sometime in 2020.
• Luigi’s Mansion 3 comes out sometime this year, will have eight player multiplayer and a goo-based character named Gooigi, which is objectively disgusting.
• Daemon x Machina will let you fulfill your robot simulation fantasies on September 13.
• The unreleased-in-the-West Seiken Densetsu 3 and another Secret of Mana game will be coming to the West… today, I believe. You don’t care about this.

Miscelleaneous/PC/EA Stuff

• Google Stadia is a thing!
• Blizzard is working on Overwatch 2.
• As sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, there will be a new FIFA game, a new Battlefield game and a new Madden.
• Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order is coming November 15, in a personal attack on me. How am I supposed to play this and Pokemon Sword/Shield at the same time?!

• For all the goths out there, Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2 is coming!
• Evil Genius 2, to satisfy your Despicable Me fantasies.
• A game called Zombie Army 4: Dead War, which feels like what someone would call a game on Law and Order: SVU.
• Shenmue 3, which got given a lot of money on Kickstarter so should be coming out.
• A creepy looking game called Telling Lies.

If I missed anything, then you already know what I missed because you know I missed it! I got you there!

But if there’s anything you think I should add, feel free to flick me a line at sam@thespinoff.co.nz.