This week Massey University released its annual ‘Quote of the Year’ competition, serving up a shortlist of 10 to vote to the 2018 title. And, look, some of them are fine! But in the spirits of breadth and plurality, our quote-loving team has produced its own crop of 10 for the inaugural Spinoff Alternative Quote of the Year (SAQY). And here they are.

‘Is it the fishing, the posing, the DJing, the pleased-with-himself grin, the apron, the “first man” thing, the flourish of an “e” in Clarke?’

– Deborah Hill-Cone in the Herald on why Clarke Gayford annoys her

‘It scarcely needs to be said, therefore, that the reputational damage which Mr Craig suffered throughout the events traversed at length in this judgment resulted almost entirely from his own actions.’

– Justice Kit Toogood ruling Colin Craig had been defamed by blogger Cameron Slater, but declining to award damages – one moment in a long history of Craig owning himself in public. 

‘The swing tag is not misleading, it is a tag that prices are put onto, and yes, the tag is made in NZ!’

– Dame Denise L’Estrange Corbet explains why “Made in New Zealand” on the tag of a foreign-made WORLD T-shirt is sweet as.

‘This is not dysfunction junction.’

– Winston Peters on the always-harmonious coalition government.

‘We have a very interesting goal, we think, which is an all-male cast of The Taming of the Shrew just as Shakespeare did, to create a feminist message.’

– Pop-up Globe artistic director Dr Miles Gregory, apologising for excluding women from The Taming of the Shrew.

‘One of the commandments is: do not covet the arse of your neighbour. Goodbye.’

– Shane Jones’ advice to Chris Luxon, Air NZ CEO. 

‘Maureen Pugh’s fucking useless.’

– Simon Bridges in a secret recording rogue MP Jami-Lee Ross released to the media in his attempt to burn down the National Party

‘It’s pretty important to get it right and I got it wrong … I got it wrong. My understanding of events, I was wrong … I know what was right … I got it wrong … I got it wrong … I’m well aware I got it wrong … Oh look I got it wrong … And I got it wrong.’ 

Labour MP Greg O’Connor after publicly criticising the prime minister.

‘Would you like me to also be a different skin colour and male?’

Anika Moa claps back at tattoo criticism on 7 Sharp.

“I’m not a dog expert but I think he has psychotic tendencies, he looks sorry but I think he’s just waiting to do it again.” 

– Rick Didham whose dog keeps shitting on pillows.

To vote in the 2018 Spinoff Alternative Quote of the Year (SAQY), send us an email or something.

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