Tonight on Three at 8.30pm, Jacinda Ardern and Bill English meet again, in the first leaders’ debate since the other day. It’s a feature-length 90 minutes tonight, so here’s something to keep your energy up. We strongly advise using apple juice.
Take a sip when you hear/see:
Gower guffaws
“Paddy”
“The fact of the matter”
“Yes or no”
“Stop you there”
“Going forward”
“Generation”
“Children”
“Gangs”
“My values”
“Tax and spend”
“Human rights”
“Clear choice”
“Drag race”
“Absolutely transparent”
Pointy finger
Take two sips:
Gower gurns
“Evidence based policy”
“National strike”
“Paula Bennett”
“Kelvin Davis”
“International experts”
“Hardworking Kiwis”
“Ordinary New Zealanders”
“Up and down the country”
“Bottom line”
Air quotes
Take a shot:
Gower thwacks the lectern
“Dirty Politics”
“Experience”
“2002”
“Memorandum of understanding”
“Lolly scramble”
“Meatworkers”
“Working groups”
“Golden goose”
“Donald Trump”
“Youthquake”
“There are 19 days to go”
Take three shots:
Bill English or Jacinda Ardern or Patrick Gower does a Tom Sainsbury impression of Bill English or Jacinda Ardern or Mike Hosking.
“Winston”
“Cusp of something special”
“Internal polling”
“Smile and wave”
“Delivering for New Zealand”
“Ladyquake”
Finish your drink:
Hosking stage invasion
A psychedelic tie
A death stare
“Show me the money”
“Let’s do this”
“Let’s get together”
“Let me finish”
“I love you, Mr English”
Walk into the sea:
“Why are you losing?”
“Drain the swamp”
Gower draws a meme
An air kiss
“This is the fucking debate”
The Newshub Leaders’ Debate kicks off at 8.30pm tonight on Three