Our in-house animal reality TV expert Tara Ward reviews Keeping Up With the Kattarshians, a reality series which is about exactly that you think.
When the world turns to hell in a handcart, it makes sense that we find solace in the peculiarities of the animal kingdom. Actually, it makes no sense at all, because the latest quirky reality show to pounce into our consciousness is a live internet feed of orphaned cats who live in an eclectically decorated dollhouse in Iceland.
Keeping Up With the Kattarshians is Big Brother for felines, but without the diary confessionals and hot tub shenanigans. I thought endearing animal reality TV peaked with Holly and Luke’s First Dates, but forget those horny hamsters and their self-indulgent quest for emotional fulfilment. 2017 may officially be the year of the Rooster, but to me it is the year of Cats Snoozing in Bunk Beds.
That’s right: these cats sleep in bunks. Stop the bus, hold the phone, Jesus take the wheel, because now I’ve seen it all. The Kattarshians is the cunning brainchild of the Icelandic Cat Protection Society, who hope to increase awareness about their homeless animals by filming them, live on the internet, 24 hours a day. Together, we can save the kittens and heal the world. Take that, Trump.
Unlike its reality TV namesake, nothing much happens on The Kattarshians. RobKat doesn’t launch a sock line, KimKat doesn’t marry a giant basketball-playing moggy, and nobody poses for Playboy. Instead, it’s an endless feed of cute teeny weeny kittens doing cute teeny weeny kitten things, like sleeping and stretching and knocking over tiny deck chairs like the furry rock stars that they are.
Despite its simplicity, The Kattarshians clawed their way into my the top bunk of my heart and I fear they’ll never leave. Oh, how I laughed when the kittens got stuck inside a cushion or when they playfully pounced on a tiny pizza box. My daily worries disappeared like a fresh bowl of Whiskas as I spent approximately nine million hours watching cats sleeping on beds probably made of Icelandic sparrow feathers and mouse ears.
Not even the feeble cries of my starving, neglected children could distract me from these delightful balls of nordic fluff. “I’m watching the cats!” I yelled, ignoring their plaintive wails for attention. They did not understand. They were not watching the cats.
What? You won’t watch a live feed of cats because you have ‘a life’? There’s no need to skite. Turn your face away from the needy orphans if you must, but at least check out some purrfect moments of Keeping Up With the Kattarshians.
Ginger Cat breaks the fourth wall
Ginger Cat (or ‘Por’, if you’re a stickler for details) is one tough bastard. He woke from nine continuous hours of sleep, leaped down the stairs with no regard for health and safety, and broke the fourth wall by strutting off-camera.
Where did he go? What crazy shit would he pull next? The tension was extreme.
Whatever was going on here
I speak neither Icelandic or Cat, so can only imagine what was said in this heartwarming moment. Regardless, tender moments like this get me right in the feels, every time.
That time the cat hid in the tub
Look, a tiny bath with claws! Awww, a tiny kitten with claws! I’m not sure which is cuter, so it’s a marriage made in live stream heaven.
Grey Cat contemplates ending it all
Did he just realise the windows were fake? Chin up, tiger, you’ll find your fur-ever home soon (spoiler alert).
This intense power struggle
Which cat would gain supremacy of the scratching stick? Who cares, I was more concerned about whether kittens prefer pineapple on their tiny Domino’s pizza. It’s a combination as likely as a cat fitting on that tiny park bench.
Praise be to the Goddess of Cats (Anne Batley-Burton, probably) for weirdly wonderful gems like Keeping Up With the Kattarshians. After watching TV this week, I will never again confuse Iceland with Finland. Iceland has cute orphan cats on tap 24/7, and Finland is where The Bachelor’s Nick went to give Raven an orgasm. Thank you, Television; may you always use your power for good.
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