It’s week six on The Block NZ and Jane Yee is back stronger and more defiant than Yanita’s hairstyles.
Secrets, sabotage and spying. We’re halfway through season six of The Block NZ, and the knives are well and truly out. Specifically, the dinner knives, because this week we enjoyed/endured the ultimate Block challenge that is Dinner Wars.
Living Room Week is traditionally a bit of a snoozefest on the renovation front. A lick of paint here, a sofa there, a scaffolding console on this wall, a chunk of velvet on that wall aaaand you’re done. Thankfully we had the drama of Dinner Wars and a controversial alliance to spice things up.
On the menu this week was a broken toe, a complicated maths equation during room reveal, not one but two fake TVs and everyone still being super excited about radiator heaters.
The Wolf was on top superiority-complex form this week. He used his magical Site Foreman powers to needlessly evacuate the site and hand out tools-down penalties in a bid to remind everyone who’s in charge (he is).
Let’s get on with this week’s power rankings, where The Twins claw their way back up the food chain and The Besties hit rock bottom due to having feels and a conscience.
1) LING AND ZING
With the best house on The Block, a super chill approach to everything and now a Room Reveal win under their belts, it will be tough for anyone to knock Ling and Zing from the top of these meaningless rankings.
The brothers had a blinder this week. They coasted through the Living Room reno, secured themselves a sweet alliance deal with the Besties and managed not to kill anyone with their questionable Dinner Wars cuisine. They also met their idol, (and probably writer of all their content) internet sensation, William Waiirua.
The Block is just a lark in the park for Ling and Zing, and while this week’s alliance shenanigans won’t win them any mates, it will probably see half their house get painted for them so it’s safe to say they have zero issues right now.
2) JULIA AND ALI
As much as I hate to say it, The Twins had a pretty good week on The Block. They produced a decent living room and their hand-welded coffee table was by far the best custom feature of the lot. They also put on one hell of a dinner party with amazing food, a professional poker dealer providing well-targeted entertainment and enough alcohol to send Andy into a weird drunk dad spin.
Sure they did some sneaky spying, belittled their fellow Blockheads and were just generally holier-than-thou as per, but I couldn’t help but be won over by their culinary skills because food is my language and these girls are fluent.
I mean how can you not be impressed by a tiny charred swan being served up with your mains?
Also, kudos to Julia for managing to run so fast on a broken toe when she thought Andy and Nate were about to bust in on them lurking around their living room.
3) ANDY AND NATE
The nice guys from Hamilton have taken a tumble towards the arse-end of the rankings this week because they put a thousand different ideas into that poor unsuspecting living room. There was a slat bed masquerading as a louvre wall, a rustic TV cabinet, lashings of blue paint, a splash of leather, timber panels, velvet sofas, a contemporary art wall and a partridge in a pear tree.
The Blokes put on a lovely dinner and invited Kings along to bust out some tunes so that everyone could have a onesie dance party and break Julia’s toe.
All in all a great night, but with The Ings and The Besties conspiring against them, all the effort the Hamilton Dads put into their dinner party probably should’ve been saved for painting the exterior of their house tbh.
To make matters worse, a deal they brokered during Room Reveal that should’ve netted them a cheeky few thousand bucks was blocked by a separate deal between the Ings and the Besties in an exchange that collapsed my brain. Basically, it was a shitter of a week for the HamDads.
4) STACE AND YANITA
Like a fake TV stuck to a wall with 3M tape, Yanita’s world fell apart this week. Through tears she told us she was missing her boyfriend and that the budget was looking as rubbish as the linen cupboard in their lounge. But the real burden weighing heavily upon her, aside from her hair, was the guilt of voting strategically during the Dinner Wars challenge.
While we’re yet to see if joining forces with the Ings and busting out zeros during Dinner Wars has worked out for Stace and Yanita, the distraction of their evil plan was evident come Room Reveal time. The Besties’ custom scaffold console was straight out of form two woodwork, while their Velvet wall feature would’ve had Good Morning’s Astar gasping for air like a dying swan.
The Besties seem hell bent on screwing up the layout of what should be the second best house on The Block and the judges have been coming down hard on them. With their emotions already in tatters and their dog act scoring tactics about to be exposed, Stace and Yanita may be about to unravel.
HONOURARY MENTIONS
HEAD ENVY
Yanita immediately regretted booking Samba dancers for their dinner party entertainment when she realised she was no longer the only one with a gravity-defying headpiece in the room.
HAIR WATCH
It’s as big as ever, and this week Yani treated us to a new do
DEADBEAT DAD
During the gamechanger cup challenge, Nate admitted his money was on Stacey for the win because “being a mother she’s probably played these games with her kids before”. Has Nate forgotten that he’s also a parent, and does he know that he’s allowed to play games with his kids?
