It’s week two of Survivor NZ and Luke Harries is jumping back in the drink to see what our Kiwi castaways got up to in the Thai jungle.

Cracks start to show in Khang Khaw

Viewers got an extra special treat during the first reward challenge as Matt climbed out of the drink to reveal “a little bit of skin” as Matt Chisholm modestly put it. The Survivor franchise is no stranger to a bit of cheeky nudity, so I’m glad that Kiwi fans can enjoy the fleeting juvenile delight of a bare bum.

The Outpost

This week we were introduced to a new twist on Survivor NZ called The Outpost, where each week the tribes select one castaway to visit the outpost for a mystery challenge, dilemma, or literally anything else the showrunners dream up.

The inaugural Outpost challenge is a Survivor classic which saw JT and Tess go head to head in a fire making challenge. Tess absolutely dominated the challenge, and unlike JT, managed to avoid getting a face full of fire.

Still, JT isn’t one to let something like “losing the challenge” get in the way of an advantage in the game, and doesn’t hesitate in asking Tess to see the contents of her winning clue, catching the Survivor rookie off guard.

Like every bare-ankled normcore bro who tries to bum a cigarette off a stranger outside St Kevin’s Arcade, JT reminds us here that to get what you want in Survivor, you kinda have to be a shady dick.

Adam’s Melon Masterclass

It was an especially emotional week for Adam who was reunited with his absolute favourite thing in the world, watermelon. Khang Khaw’s reward for winning the first challenge of the week was a juicy spread of tropical fruit. While the girls discussed how much like lollies the pineapple was going to taste like (heaps like lollies, apparently) Adam had his sights set on one thing and one thing only: that juicy juicy watermelon.

Dude loves his watermelon, and he dropped some serious melon knowledge. Does your melon have a yellow spot? It’s gonna be sweet. Sounds dense when you tap it? You know it’s sweet. Sugar spots? Oh baby that’s sweet. Take it from a guy with a watermelon tattoo – this is serious stuff. I can only imagine how amazing this fruit would taste after days of next to no food, and the whole tribe was getting stuck in, including Lisa, who opted for an interesting sucking technique on her melon slice.

Strat Chat

In the Khang Khaw tribe (which Dylan would like to remind readers of the correct pronunciation), a majority alliance has formed, with Josh, Brad, Matt, Tess and Adam teaming up to form a “tight five”.

Early in the episode the majority alliance singled out Dylan as being on the bottom of the tribe. I was pretty sad to see Dylan on the outs with his tribe, since he’s for sure one of this season’s biggest Survivor fans. Josh even called him “a bit of a goat”.

I couldn’t help but notice he said this to Tess – who has no prior knowledge of Survivor at all – and Adam, who spent all of last week doing absolutely nothing around camp and hoping no one would notice. Luckily for Dylan, Khang Khaw won immunity this week and avoided tribal council for a second week, but I fear he may still fall victim to his tribemates’ terrible judgement in the coming weeks.

Tribal Council

After another immunity challenge defeat, Chani were back at tribal for the second week in a row. Sensing she was on the chopping block this week, Karla made her case to stay in the game. Karla felt that she was undervalued by her tribe, and she hadn’t had the chance to show all her strengths yet – most notably “I have a firepit in my back yard.” Incredibly, having a fire pit and going on camping holidays wasn’t enough to convince the rest of Chani to keep her around, and Karla was the second person to be voted out of Survivor NZ.

Blindside Rating: 0/10

Karla had already seen the writing on the wall, and even said so in her exit interview.

Chisholm-ism of the week

“It’ll be like swimming in a hot bath.” How big is the bath in your house that you can swim in it, Mr. Moneybags?

Survivor NZ Quick Stats

3 – Visits from the medic this week

70 – Kilograms on Brad’s shoulders at the end of the immunity challenge

0 – Challenge wins so far for the Chani tribe

1 – Exposed rear end

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