Te Pāti Māori rises from the ashes of the government’s pride to get its say in the budget debates – before having to go back to the dog box.

Echo Chamber is The Spinoff’s dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus.

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The public gallery was closed for Tuesday’s question time. All this talk of filibustering and Te Pāti Māori must have sent a chill down the speaker’s spine, keeping him awake all hours of the night with a dreadful anxiety over the decorum in the chambers. Were those Māori plotting against him? Hath none any respect for this institution? It’s easier to close the door on the possibility of a haka in the public gallery than risk being turned into the butt of the joke simply for saying “no, don’t do that”.

But the privacy did work out nicely for one senior minister, who needed only worry about the vultures circling above in the press gallery benches – but he tries his best to act like he doesn’t care what they think of him, anyway. Winston Peters, as the MPs milled around and took their seats, scrolled his X account in silence, and watched the video of himself that went viral earlier that day, in which he met a fellow geezer who likes saying naff and bollocks just as much as he does, and realised there are still people out there who can match his freak.

If a closed gallery wasn’t enough of a flashing red warning sign of Gerry Brownlee’s lack of patience, his interruptions during oral questions as an attempt to defuse any landmines along the way should have been enough of a hint. Finance minister Nicola Willis kicked off oral questions with patsies from National MP Cameron Brewer, and as she was laying it on thick, her mind naturally wandered to the MPs on the opposition benches and their failures. 

In not so many words, Brownlee basically said: “no, don’t do that.”

When Peters, minister for rail, fielded questions from his NZ First colleague Jenny Marcroft, it gave him an opportunity both to promote a $600m investment from the upcoming budget to rail upgrades, and slam the Green Party’s alternative budget. It was alarming, Peters declared, to see a proposal to build light rail in Christchurch, Auckland and Wellington to the tune of $11bn – only for Brownlee to remind the deputy prime minister that a supplementary question cannot be used as ammo against another party.

Peters, well aware of the rules of parliament as he had just last week described it as a “House of Chaos”, returned to his notes with a lack of sincerity, but appeared to get a kick out of the charade: “If they want an education, pull into the station,” he finished.

Te Pāti Māori co-leader Debbie Ngarewa Packer was ninth up in oral questions, asking the prime minister about recent comments made about Māorification with Newstalk ZB’s Mike Hosking, and his sentiment that “where we see it, we call it out”. Well, Luxon replied, that isn’t quite what I said, and said media outlet has since corrected my comments – but I do still have issues with a stop-go sign being in te reo Māori.

They bickered and Luxon ummed, ahhed and stuttered, until Rangatira Peters (that’s what Matua Shane Jones calls him) rose for a supplementary to save the day. “In the question on the issue of ‘Māorification,’” he asked the prime minister, “would it be ‘Māorification’ if every Thursday I went down and got myself a suntan?”

It was equal parts cringe, offensive and hilarious to the opposition benches. “You’re embarrassing yourself, geez,” Te Pāti Māori MP Mariameno Kapa Kingi called. “It would help,” Te Pāti Māori co-leader Rawiri Waititi joked.

It was enough to get Peters booted out of the House altogether. “I’ll be back, don’t you worry,” he warned the speaker. “That’s something everyone has noticed through your whole career,” Brownlee replied.

Following question time, the MPs (Peters included) were straight into the debate over Te Pāti Māori’s suspension, delivered by the privileges committee. The chair of that committee, minister Judith Collins, told the House that never in her 23 years in parliament had she seen such a “serious incident”. There were plenty of cutting remarks, but the only interjections from Te Pāti Māori’s benches were corrections to Collins’ pronunciation of their names.

The day’s circus was all for nothing. After Labour leader Chris Hipkins left his left bloc allies in the lurch with no plans of filibustering but a whole lot to say about democracy hanging by a thread, minister Chris Bishop – after his party had promised there would be no concessions for Te Pāti Māori – set an adjournment motion until June 5.

The mythological filibuster never came to fruition. Speaker Gerry Brownlee will have to close the public gallery again in a few weeks. But, the silver lining: it all ended just in time for Te Pāti Māori to walk outside, see their few hundred supporters perform a haka, and relish in having – at least for now – the last laugh.