Photo from Archives New Zealand: Eating fruit at a roadside stall in Otaki. April 1982, Otaki
Photo from Archives New Zealand: Eating fruit at a roadside stall in Otaki. April 1982, Otaki

Pop CultureJune 13, 2025

The Friday Poem: ‘How to build a roadside stall’ by Airini Beautrais

Photo from Archives New Zealand: Eating fruit at a roadside stall in Otaki. April 1982, Otaki
Photo from Archives New Zealand: Eating fruit at a roadside stall in Otaki. April 1982, Otaki

A new poem by Airini Beautrais.

How to build a roadside stall

First, go to Home Depot and buy some wood
and get your husband, whose name is Landon,
to cut it to length for you.
This will be a great place to sell the eggs
from your backyard ducks and chickens,
honey from your own beehives,
bunches of bouquet garni and flowers in season.
And now, I have realised the reason I have no
roadside stall is I forgot to get a husband
called Landon, or anything of that sort.
My dad and I went halvies on a drop-saw,
but my ex took it, and I did have ducks
for a bit, but they shat everywhere.
And when I was on chicken duty at my kids’ school
I forgot, and the chickens starved for a day.
I have some roadside, but I have no stall,
and we don’t have Home Depot, although
we do have Mitre 10 Mega and Bunnings.
I go there sometimes, get overwhelmed,
and wonder if I need ten colourful spatulas.
Sometimes I try to be normal, and dress in muted tones.
Other times I think about getting
a matching tracksuit covered in cats.
How am I ever going to sell any nuts?
It takes me a day to cut two bits of wood
with my hand saw, and screw them together.
I can’t go back on Tinder.
My garden is full of dead grass
and well-established fennel.
The neighbours call my place that place
I may as well be a thumbless animal
Or an ape who hasn’t yet
invented the wheel.

 

The Friday Poem is brought to you by Nevermore Bookshop, home of kooky, spooky romance novels and special edition book boxes. Visit Nevermore Bookshop today.

The Friday Poem is edited by Hera Lindsay Bird. Submissions are now open. Please send up to three poems in a PDF or Word document to fridaypoem@thespinoff.co.nz

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Jarvis Cocker and Pulp (Photo: SPP)
Jarvis Cocker and Pulp (Photo: SPP)

Pop CultureJune 13, 2025

Huge news: Chris Warner has made it to Brokenwood

Jarvis Cocker and Pulp (Photo: SPP)
Jarvis Cocker and Pulp (Photo: SPP)

Michael Galvin kills it in the new season of The Brokenwood Mysteries.

This is an excerpt from our weekly pop culture newsletter Rec Room. Sign up here.

If you’re a fan of murder, small towns and Chris Warner, then the return of The Brokenwood Mysteries is all your dreams come true. The 11th season of the popular local drama begins this Sunday on TVNZ, bringing with it a fresh round of bizarre and unusual deaths that take place in the sleepy rural community of Brokenwood. You’re likely to get murdered the moment you arrive, but that doesn’t stop detectives Mike Shepherd (Neill Rea), Kristin Sims (Fern Sutherland) and Daniel Chambers (Jarod Rawiri) from solving the endless number of chaotic killings that keep happening in their town. 

The new season launches with a cracker of an episode. It guest stars Michael Galvin, aka Dr Chris Warner, who sheds his Shortland Street skin to play faded 1980s rock star James Hathaway. Hathaway’s flamboyant lace cuffs are as droopy as his career; he sings lines like “two by two/take me to your ark” and languishes through a reunion tour that opens in the murder capital of Aotearoa. The crowd is smaller than James had hoped: just 19 people, one of whom is about to cark it in suspicious circumstances. “I’ve had root canals more enjoyable,” pub owner Trudy says of James’ musical performance.

Galvin, however, looks like he’s having the time of his life. Ferndale must be the only place in New Zealand television more dangerous than Brokenwood, but Galvin is a delight as the emotional, pampered rock star whose spotlight is fading by the second. It’s not the first time Galvin has treated us to a memorable musical number, but this does mark a rare and welcome step outside of Shortland Street hospital and reminds us of Galvin’s acting talents. He also joins an impressive list of New Zealand legends to appear in Brokenwood over the past 11 seasons, including Robyn Malcolm, Rebecca Gibney, Ian Mune, Miranda Harcourt and Sara Wiseman.

Mike (Neill Rea) and Chalmers (Jarod Rawiri) (Photo: SPP)

I won’t spoil how the murder takes place, or give away the twist that comes near the end. Just know that this episode is Brokenwood at its best: familiar, funny and a little ridiculous. The writing is sharp and focused, the humour is wonderfully acerbic, and in its most bonkers moments, it feels like Brokenwood is happily taking the piss out of itself. Every time Galvin’s New Romantic curls flop all over his run-down motel room, it’s as if Brokenwood is saying: we know this is absurd, but we know what you’re here for, too. Far-fetched? Absolutely. Quietly entertaining? Always. 

After 11 seasons, there aren’t many TV shows that continue to feel as fresh and energised as Brokenwood. It’s giving the people exactly what they want – murder, music and some dry one-liners  – without ever resting on its laurels. Brokenwood is a true New Zealand TV success story, a show that sits comfortably in a niche of its own making, but continues to charm and surprise. You should never trust a stranger in Brokenwood, and yet, I hope they never stop coming to town. 

The Brokenwood Mysteries streams on TVNZ+ and screens on TVNZ1 on Sunday 15 June at 8.30pm.